Tuesday, April 04, 2006

"Mentality Retraining"

Sorry this is such a long one, but I had a great comment on my last post. To sum it up, it was about being happy in their new job and having to do "mentality retraining." I so understand that. It's like shaking off years of a way of thinking. Of freeing my mind to be myself again. Someone once told me I should never want to work somewhere that I feel I have to hide my talents and I don't have to do that at this new job.

For over 2 years, I was working against my personality type. Every day that I had to hold it in and hold my tongue led to hating myself as much as I hated what I was doing. My drawer was filled with ginger ales, chews and powder to ease my stomach--I was so ill every morning.

One day a few weeks ago, I was sticking labels on a large board mailing and thought about something a colleague told me at an event. A Native American illustrator--Greggory--was sitting at the next table and told me how he was working a job he hated and one day it hit him. He said, "You might think this sounds crazy, but all I could think was 'What I am doing is not honoring my ancestors.'" He quit and started his own graphic design company. I told him I didn't think it sounded crazy at all and we talked for the rest of the time there. I thought about that statement and it felt like my world stopped and restarted at that moment. I looked at those books and thought, "I am not honoring my ancestors. I'll never do another one of these again." That very day I found the ad that led me to being hired at my new gig now. Call it fortuitous. Call it the ancestors at work. I don't know. All I know is that I'm so much happier where I am now.

Here's a quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

8 comments:

Deb R said...

One of the recurring themes in the book I just finished ("The Rock Orchard") is "We are what we are until we decide to be different." It's one of the reasons I loved the book so much.

Elle said...

I absolutely agree! The moment I had that "Ding!" moment, I knew my life was about to be different.

mary m. said...

Congratulations, Elle. I'm so glad you extricated yourself from that situation. You are a very strong and smart woman.

deb said...

I have been wanting to start a dialogue somewhere about NOT having ancestors to honor or a culture to refer to...I'll take this to my clog for further comment.

Karoda said...

First, Elle, its all about our process, honor the process and not only will the joy have meaning but the suffering also. Maximize your joy in your new job!

Deb, I'll be looking forward to your continued comments on this, because I believe everyone has ancestors and a culture to honor.

Alma Stoller said...

Good for you Elle. Gotta love 'Ding' moments. I have had numerous of those....and its funny how often the most ordinary conversation, event or day trigger them.

ACey said...

Would love to see what you might come up with artistically regarding Ancestors 'coming out of the box'...

The Calico Cat said...

I just saw you blog on "blogher." I too am a DC quilter - fairly traditional in technique.

Enjoy the new job.